LindsayI realized the other day that my wedding date is now less than four months away. Four.
FOUR.
You may not know this, but I have actually been married before. That’s right. When I was three years old, I married the boy down the street. Our older sisters were best friends, and they thought it would be funny to marry us. We didn’t agree, but as the younger siblings, we didn’t have much of a say. Since I was so young, I don’t remember much about the wedding, except that I wore a (hopefully clean) pair of men’s white tighty-whitey underwear on my head as a veil, I cried the whole time, and when it came time for our first kiss as “man and wife”, he ran out of the room screaming.
And that was my first wedding.
I have to admit, a part of me is a little nervous this next one will have similar results.
You may remember that a few months ago I wrote a post about getting engaged and said that I would worry later about how the f*ck the woman who can’t stand for 10 minutes is going to make it through a wedding ceremony. Well, it’s later, and it’s time to worry about it.  The answer, for me, is that she doesn’t. Not a traditional wedding, at least.
For months, the BF and I discussed what kind of wedding we would have: fancy? casual? Vegas? Courtroom? Star Wars-themed? We knew what the ceremony would be like: short and sweet. I just can’t stand long enough for anything else, and the BF and I aren’t really “everybody look at me” kind of people anyway. I’d be perfectly happy if just the two of us and a few witnesses stood overlooking the ocean and said “I do”.
However, for the reception, I would love to have a big party. I’m at that age where there won’t be many more opportunities to get all of my friends and family from all around the country in one room, and to introduce them all to the BF’s friends and family. I don’t care about a wedding, but I want to feed my friends a lot of good food, get them good and drunk, and show them a good time.
Kind of sounds like I want to take my friends back to college, right?
As I have mentioned in the past, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) has made me sensitive to lights, sounds, and vibrations. Although many people may not realize it, a large group of people produces a lot of sounds and vibrations. This sets off my adrenaline. I recently attended a get together of 15-20 people. As typical with this size group, there were many smaller conversations between 2-3 people. All the competing conversations and noise vibrations were quite disorienting and made me very symptomatic, despite the fact that I was seated the entire time. So, a wedding where we invite 100Â of our closest friends just isn’t possible.
But, how important is it, really, that I be at my own wedding? What if I invite my friends to come eat some food, have lots of drinks, and watch the BF marry a cardboard cutout of me?
Ultimately, we decided to have a small wedding with just family – 25-30 people. My mom, sister and I picked out my dress, which is lovely. We selected a beautiful location that overlooks a waterfall for our ceremony. It will be very short, but with all of the photos, organizing and greeting guests, there’s still a lot of standing. I’m really hoping I won’t need a wheelchair. Also, I will probably need to talk to my doctor about getting an IV right before the wedding, and I’m sure I’ll have to take a double beta blocker the day of to control my heart rate and blood pressure.
For the reception, we will all go to a restaurant for dinner. The whole thing will be small and intimate, and not the wedding I dreamed of, but at least no one will wear underwear on their head or run out screaming.
So, while I’m sorry you all will not be receiving an invitation to my wedding, I hope on May 2nd you’ll eat some delicious food, get real drunk, and be with me in spirit.
“Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.”
               – William Shakespeare
Smell ya later.
– Linds
I love the dress! You will be a beautiful bride!
Thank you! It’s very pretty.
AWESOME— AND — AS AN OLD WOMAN–I CAN TELL YA— YOU WON’T REMEMBER THE WEDDING YEARS FROM NOW ANYWAY— IT WILL BE THE LIFE YOU ARE LIVING!!!! HAPPY EVER AFTER——- 🙂
PS.—— LOVE YOUR DRESS——
Thank you!
Oh Lindsay, there is NO ONE IN THE WORLD quite like you! You are so awesome! I most definitely will be thinking of you on May 2, but not getting drunk as my POTS won’t allow that at all! But I’ll eat something sweet and think of it as wedding cake 😉 I guarantee Andrew will be thinking of you too! Because I’ll remind him LOL. Have to find a picture of your dress… but I know you’ll post some photos after the wedding, even if you’re not the Look At Me kind of person 😉
You’re amazing, don’t know Sai that well, but he’s one lucky dude, and he must be exceptional to be marrying YOU! Still want to get together… coming down in Jan for the CHOC conference and staying through Feb. probably or more… may get my right kidney done at Scripps. So want to see you and so does Andrew. Loved your blog when I showed him! 🙂 Take care Lindsay, and relax before the wedding so you will not be potsy and will have the best day of your life! <3
Thanks, Stacy! I will definitely share some photos after the wedding. I’m excited to see you and Andrew soon! I’m planning on going to the CHOC thing, too, so I’ll see you then!
Congrats on getting married. I just got married in October and did almost the same thing you are. Short ceremony, 12 mins to be exact, and party afterward. We had 35 guests. I felt great the week of and the day of, probably the euphoria of getting married but it hit me hard afterward and during our honeymoon. But that is how my POTS pretty much works I have highs and very bad lows. Luckily my high was on the wedding day and most of the honeymoon. I hope the same for you. Enjoy!!!!
Wow it’s almost here. You will be a beautiful bride Linds and I can’t wait to see photos. Hopefully the adrenalin will get you through and you enjoy the best day of your life!
Ps. Your dress is gorgeous!!
That’s exactly what I’m hoping!
Sonda is right. You are getting married to live life together, not just one event. Although my wedding and reception were simple, if I were to do it again, I would elope and then come back and have a party with family and friends. 🙂 I am betting in hindsight you will be glad your wedding was small and beautiful.
I think eloping and having a party with family and friends sounds like a wonderful idea 🙂
I love, love, love your dress! And the venue and ceremony sounds perfect to me, though I know it’s probably not ideally what you would have done if your health were different. I’m excited for you (cos I have no love life of my own it’s nice to live vicariously through yours lol!) x
thank you so much!
Awww… Not having exactly the wedding you dreamed of… As long as u have the marriage bond and husband you have always dreamed of!!!
Maybe a couple if matching luxurious thrones… Or reclining lazy boys! 😉 congratulations !
that’s a great idea! one of my good friends suggested that, if i was going to get a big poofy wedding dress, i could hide a stool under it, so no one would even know i was sitting 🙂
I will do everything but the drunk part on May 2nd. Love to both of you!
I love your dress! It’s so pretty. Mine is from David’s Bridal too. I will definitely think of you on May 2nd. It’s my birthday. As I turn 31 I will think of you getting married. Our wedding is August 8th and we are having to plan the day around my ME/CFS too which is frustrating. But as long as we are married at the end of the day and with our closest friends and family around us I will be very happy. Though I share your panic face! My to do list is still very long!
How very very exciting for you and your guy! I know you have been working toward this day for a long time and congratulations on being able to make it through your wedding 🙂 Talk about DREAM BIG!
I have a POTS friend who is really concerned about this very thing, so I know she will gain a great deal of inspiration from your post. Also, my sister just got engaged and since I’ve been completely horizontal for almost 4 years in a dark quiet room, I’m terrified about how my body will allow me to participate. But, I do have time to work toward it, and hearing from you and how much your hard work has paid off gives me great hope!
Even though it isn’t your first time at the alter 😉 I hope you and your man will savor every single moment, and have a wonderful life together <3
Thank you! it will be a challenging day, but i’m lucky to have someone that is very understanding 🙂