LindsayWedding planning is stressful.
I realize that may be the understatement of the year, and I’m probably preaching to the choir of former stressed out brides and grooms. My wedding to-do list seems to be slightly growing daily, while my health has been slightly declining daily.
In mid-January I attended my (former) stepsister’s wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony at a place called The Secret Garden, which is just as charming as the name implies. The bride looked gorgeous, the food was delicious, and the two pieces of cake I had were heavenly. I had a great time. Well, up until the last hour of the wedding.
I was at the wedding for about 5 1/2 hours. Obviously I sat down as much as I could, even reclined when I could, but a certain amount of standing is required at any wedding for photos, introductions, and just going to the bar and buffet. I planned ahead and upped my fluids and salt that morning.
Unfortunately, it didn’t make a difference, and around hour 4 I began to get a migraine.
By the next day the migraine had worsened and I ended up spending the entire day in bed. Some of my aunts, uncles and cousins who I had not seen in over a decade were in town for the wedding. We all planned to get together Friday, the day after the wedding, but I missed out on everything. They all hopped on a plane Saturday morning, and I do not know when I will have the opportunity to see them again.
It’s days like those – lying in bed sick, alone, missing out while the rest of my family is together making memories – that I really hate this illness. I would have gladly traded a week of migraines for that one day.
Although it has ranged in severity over the past three weeks, my headache has not gone away. Naturally, this leaves me worried about how I will make it through my own wedding in a few months. With the ceremony, photos and thanking my guests, my wedding will certainly require much more standing than attending a wedding as a guest.
For weeks, possibly even months, the BF and I have debated whether we should just scrap the wedding and go get married at the courthouse. It isn’t romantic or momentous, but it’s something I am physically capable of doing. Lots of people have suggested that the sheer adrenaline will get me through. However, these days my adrenaline has already been in full force, due to postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). I’ll expand on that in a future post, but essentially, the excessive adrenaline is starting to interfere with my daily activities.
However, our latest wedding booking has me feeling a little more positive. The BF and I found a reception location! Our reception will be at a great restaurant located at a hotel – the same hotel where we (and many of our guests) will be staying. Which means I can go lie down for a while before the reception starts.
This may be the first wedding in history where “nap time” is part of the official wedding schedule.
My first nap as a married woman. It’s going to rock.
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love….Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” – Kahlil Gibran
Smell ya later.
– Linds
I wish you nothing but a happy, joy-filled, migraine-free day of your dreams!
thank you!
Oh how cute! Get a photo of that!
Have u heard of Botox in ur scalp from a neurologist? Dysautonomia specialist mentioned it.., like migraines everyday.., or maybe just get an iv the day before! Or during nap time?
i have heard of botox but have not tried it. my insurance won’t cover it until i have migraines more often. my dr. did say we would schedule an IV a few days before the wedding, so i’m hoping that makes a difference!
Hope things are looking up in time for your wedding Linds! Glad you could make this wedding. I hate the after effects of adrenalin. I find my adrenalin is wearing low these days, maybe adrenal fatigue sets in over time with pots since we are nearly always in hyper adrenal mode. Have you stayed on atenolol or any other meds or are you still weaning off them?
hi jo! i have heard that adrenal fatigue is common with POTS, especially for those with hyperadrenergic POTS. i’m still on atenolol, right now at 1/2 of a pill (so, 12.5 mg per day). i recently increased from 1/4 pill and am decided whether it’s making a difference.
how about you?
I’m still on atenolol also. I take between a quarter and a half of 25mg – about 8mg a night I’d say once I cut the pills up. Now I’m taking Zyrtec and Zantac as my allergies are worse I’m finding the h1/h2 are lowering my heart rate a bit too (I think it’s the Zantac) so I couldn’t take the 12.5mg anymore.
We have a vision in our heads from being little girls about what our wedding day will look like, and it’s so hard to know that the vision isn’t really do-able :-/ Funnily enough, a close friend of mine has just spent a year organising her wedding and this month called the whole thing off, deciding instead to go to the courthouse with just hers and the groom’s parents, followed by a b-b-q in the garden the following day for whoever wants to turn up! She just couldn’t cope with a big wedding and says she felt pressured into doing what everyone else expected and wanted and not what was best for her.
Just a thought from my own experiences of big occasions – have you thought of using a power wheelchair or small mobility scooter (don’t know about America but you can hire them for the day here)? Not for Church, but for the reception? No standing to greet people or make idle chit chat – in fact, no standing involved at all. It’s made all the difference to me and I can last hours longer on my scooter than if I’m ambulant. I know it’s not anyone’s idea of how they thought they’d spend their wedding day, but if it’s a choice of doing that and joining in or being spark out on the bed half the time and not being part of your own big day, it’s worth a thought. Jak x
there’s definitely something to be said about going to a courthouse 🙂
i have thought about getting a wheelchair for the wedding. i’m really hoping i won’t need to, but it is a backup plan. i am also planning on ALWAYS having a chair nearby. i told the BF i may need to sit through the ceremony, and he’s prepared for that. you’re absolutely right that it’s not necessarily what we imagined as little girls, but once we accept what we can’t do, it’s much easier to focus on what we can do!
Our wedding is going to include nap time too! I share your concerns about getting through our wedding day and I’ve said more than once why aren’t we having a courthouse short and sweet wedding. I’m trying to focus on how happy it makes me when I think about our day. I wish you all the health and happiness and have everything crossed that you have a wonderful wedding without too many health impacts. Jx
thank you!, i wish the same for you! despite how worried i am about the wedding, i really am excited, too, so thanks for reminding me about that 🙂
Rock that nap! It’s your day!
best. nap. ever.
There is nothing wrong with a court house marriage. As my husband said before our wedding…no we didn’t do the court house, but we almost did…as I was very stressed because my, now sister-in-law was being crazy and my maid of honor almost couldn’t come…he looked in my eyes and said, “It doesn’t matter as long as we are married at the end of the day”
I was very calm after that and didn’t care how things turned out. It was all just fine, the most magical moment in my life. We had a very small wedding. Very laid back, possibly because of him saying that to me. We didn’t do a lot of photos right after the ceremony…just a few of the wedding party stuff. The photos of just us, we did at a different time.
I have friends who got married at the court house and filmed it on an old 8mm black and white. They sent out invites to people to come and celebrate their union, and showed the movie, and had a big reception. It was very romantic, and they didn’t have to deal with both a ceremony and a reception.
Just remember, it’s your wedding. You and BF, are getting married, that is what counts. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
I think a nap is a wonderful idea!! Hope you aren’t too excited to sleep. *wink*
i think inviting people to come watch the wedding video after it’s over is a wonderful idea! since we’re having such a small wedding (i don’t have the energy for a larger wedding), perhaps at a later date we’ll invite friends over to see the photos!
I like that. I didn’t have the energy for a large wedding either, and I wasn’t very sick when we got married. I was so worn out after the wedding that when we got to our room, I got dressed for the night…*wink* came to bed, and started to cuddle promptly feel asleep….as I was passing out I told my husband to just have fun, I’d catch up tomorrow. hahaha.
One wonderful thing I did do for us. As a wedding present for him, I ordered a massage therapist to come in to give him a massage in our room the next day, and I got one too. It was very relaxing and really gave us a great stress relief. It simply let everything melt away. We also had breakfast served on our patio. Just a quiet time before seeing people again. It saved us. Kept me from getting migraines or vertigo.
However, I wasn’t as sick as I am now….but I think it was very smart to recharge that morning.
Good luck my dear!!
Have you heard of histamine intolerance and mast cell issues?? POTS has been connected to mast cell and some connective tissue disorders. Dr. Theoharides is a mast cell expert from Tufts University. If you suffer from allergies and migranes both, along with POTS, you probably have mast cell issues. There are natural ways to help yourself in regards to diet and supplements/vitamins to help if you are trying to get off RX for future pregnancy plans. Here’s some info, but go out to his websites and listen to his you tube video’s. There’s lots of info that will make sense. Hope this helps!! http://www.mastcellmaster.com/research.php
hi, thank you for your comment! i have heard of mast cell issues – my POTS doctor actually thinks i might have mcad. my 24 hour urine test results were normal, but i have typical mast cell symptoms and respond well to mcad treatment. i recently started the low histamine diet and have noticed less flushing and rashes. thanks for the link – i’ll be sure to check it out!