resolutions 2018…

You guys…

GUESS WHAT I GOT??!!

It’s sleek and fast and sexy and I want to have its babies. Thank god it’s finally here. It was getting a little scary there towards the end:

I am thrilled to have a laptop and look forward to getting back to a couple of projects I left unfinished, once I am finally able to get everything off my old laptop. A new computer is a great way to start a new year, and I’m looking forward to everything that 2018 (and having a computer) will bring.

During the weeks without a computer I had time to really sit down and examine what I want to do in 2018. I try to set resolutions each year because I am constantly trying to improve myself, and without a particular goal, I don’t have anything specific to work towards. However, I lose focus quickly, so setting an intention that can keep my interest for an entire year can be problematic.

This year I decided to break it down into month-long goals. As I mentioned in my last post, my focus this year is on going deeper, not wider. I have so many unread books, unfinished online courses, unwatched movies and documentaries. I start a project, then abandon it when something else piques my interest. I make so many goals because I want to be a better person and there are so many things I want to accomplish before I die. And for some reason, I always feel like my time is limited, and I need to cram everything in.

Setting a resolution for a month allows me to delve deeply into the goal, to explore it, and to hopefully learn something about myself in the process. It also allows me to set at least 12 different intentions, or gives me the option to revisit a goal from a previous month. My hope is that by focusing intently on a project for 30 days, it will eventually become a habit and the practice will carry over to the next month, even if it is not the intention for that month.

For this month, I wanted to set the goal of riding my recumbent stationary bike everyday, as I’m already on day 22 of consistently riding. However, I will be out of town at the end of the month and won’t have access to a bike. So, this month’s goal is to read for at least 30 minutes each day. Currently I am reading this book:

It’s intended for a much younger audience than I initially realized, but fortunately I’m learning all about the changes my body is going through and the hair I’m growing in special places.

Some of the other goals for future months this year are:

• working with my dog on training and new tricks;
• ride my recumbent bike everyday;
• eat at least 3 servings of vegetables;
• finish one of the online courses;
• a month without sugar;
• meditate for at least ten minutes;
• a month without t.v.;
• take a photo each day.

I do have other general resolutions, like trying to be more patient and eating healthier. I’m hoping to take a trip – probably still in state, but a relaxing trip nonetheless. And I hope to travel to visit my mom at least four times this year.

My most important resolution for this year, however, is to forgive myself when I fail to meet all my other resolutions, because inevitably I’m going to end up with a migraine one day and be unable to read for 30 minutes, or my BP or heart rate will be too unstable to exercise, or brain fog will cause me to forget what the resolution is for that month. 

In thinking about my resolutions, I considered giving up this blog. There are plenty of other bloggers, and truth be told, better bloggers. Bloggers who know more about POTS or MCAD or living with a chronic illness. Bloggers who are more eloquent and funnier, and probably cuter, who have better ideas for posts. All I have to offer is my random musings and photos of my cute dog.

Blogging takes so much time, and between work, my dog, caring for my in-laws, helping take care of my mom, and trying to exercise and manage my illnesses, I don’t have a lot of free time. Maybe those are reasons to keep blogging, because not everyone with POTS is able to do all that. So as part of my year of going deeper, instead of giving up my blog I am going to challenge myself to explore it farther, to share more openly, and to start more conversations. I still have so many random musings to share, and we need to discuss a new research article, two new medication experiences, the legalization of marijuana in the state of California, and perhaps this will be the year we finally discuss sex.

This could take a while.

“I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen.” – Louisa May Alcott

What are your goals for this year?

Smell ya later.
– Linds