a meditation on meditation…

Having a chronic illness has opened my eyes to many things I didn’t know about, or much about, before. This includes eosinophil counts, cardiac rhythms, long naps, and meditation. I first became interested in meditation after reading Toni Bernhard’s How to Be Sick. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.

I find meditation particularly helpful when the anxiety or adrenaline sets in. Because I never suffered from anxiety prior to developing postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), it is still foreign to me. I don’t always understand what is happening. First, my body will react like it’s in a state of panic. At this point, my mind knows everything is fine and is calm. But anxiety is like wildfire, and it spreads quickly. If I can find something on which to direct my focus, I can quell the flames. And, in this case, meditation can serve as a giant hose.

Typically, I try to focus on my breathing and just listen to each inhalation and exhalation. However, when the anxiety becomes overwhelming, there’s only one surefire way to redirect my attention:

I trim my arm hair.

I realize that sounds completely bizarre, but for whatever reason, it works. It must be my equivalent of raking my zen garden or trimming my bonsai tree. I literally pull out a pair of scissors (of course, this only works if I’m somewhere where I have a pair of scissors), and start cutting. I don’t have long arm hair to begin with, so I have to really concentrate in order to avoid cutting myself. And that’s probably why it works.

For those I see on a regular basis, my “meditation” has actually become common knowledge.  If I seem flustered, the BF or my coworkers will hand me a pair of scissors and instruct me to go trim my arm hair.

If I’m feeling adventurous, I may cut different patterns or symbols in the hair. One of these days, I’ll probably test out an arm hair mohawk and see how ridiculous badass that looks. I have tried other distractions, such as doing math problems in my head or imagining everyone naked.  Both of those just leave me feeling stupid and embarrassed (and sometimes slightly turned on), which just adds to the anxiety.

Maybe arm haircuts aren’t your thing – perhaps you already have perfectly groomed arm hair, or perhaps you’re happy with that sexy tousled look. In that case, let me offer another suggestion.

A personal friend from high school has recently undergone training as a level 1 teacher-in-training for the meditation modality, iRest.   iRest is a meditation protocol that has been delivered in many settings, and has undergone many research trials.  It is a form of Yoga Nidra, which roughly translates to ‘sleep of the yogi.’  Yoga nidra does not intend to put you in to REM sleep, rather, takes you to a meditative state close to, but not succumbing to, full sleep.

For a limited time and as part of her training, my friend is offering free 30 and 45 minute individual meditation sessions.  She has worked a lot with PTSD (which is an invisible illness in itself!) and is interested in giving back to the invisible illness community, as well as learning more, so you’d be helping her out just as much as she’s helping you! Sessions are conducted via skype, so it does not matter where you live. We often complain that there aren’t enough services out there that cater to or are understanding of illness, but my friend has specifically authorized me to share this with you, because she believes in (and studies show) the powerful effects of meditation on illness. If you are interested in meditation and would like more information, send me an email (Lindsay@dysautonomiac.com) and tell you more!

“Smile, breathe and go slowly.” ~Thích Nhất Hạnh

Smell ya later.
– Linds